warrior

Tattoo #16.

Warrior.

The earth has collided with my soul.Taking me to places that were created for my imagination, love, acceptance and trust in this life. I am turning 26 this summer and I have never been more in tune with myself than before. I am able to connect to my energies on every level, feel and breathe them in when needed. See More

— in Granada, Granada, Nicaragua.

MOONPHASES.jpg

With every new moon there is a new beginning

Tattoo number 16 — done in Granada by an incredible man, artist, father and friend named Oscar.

Down my right arm I now hold the moon cycle, which I couldn’t be more happy about. The more I travel and find myself as a woman, the more wild I become. Inspired by my new journey in finding myself as a true woman of nature. This has been a very beautiful journey filled with so much wonder, creation, love, acceptance, imagination and mindfulness.

In the last year I have really been able to understand myself as more than just a human being. In energy, vibration and my natural nature I have been able to connect, recharge, identify with and understand life through a whole new lens. It all feels like a beautiful gift that has been waiting for me.

During my trip to Nicaragua is when it became so evident how far I have come on this journey. I truly underestimated my own growth and development.

It was only a matter of time until the moon cycle was a part of me. I ran into some incredible humans on our way to Granada and was very inspired by seeing a very different moon cycle on another human being.

I am forever grateful to be able to document my journey, story, joy and pain on my body to carry with me around this world.

I am forever grateful to have tattoos from around the world by artist just like you and I

pacman

Tattoo number 14 👍

PAC MAN has always been my favourite video game. Old school arcade games in general are a love for me. A lot of my tattoos have been pretty serious and my mother said to me before I left to get something cute.

Plot twist. There is still meaning.

I am pac man. The ghosts are my demons and the dots are all the tools and skills I have gained to overcome many tough times.

I am a warrior and I will keep fighting.

— in Las Vegas, Nevada.

CONTINUE.jpg

In light of World Suicide Prevention Day

Project Semicolon thank you for a beautiful chance to heal, share and continue my growth. You will see my little semi colon in the middle of the word Continue

Tattoo # 12.
A story behind this smile.

Most people when they see a dandelion; they see a weed, or they see a wish. I choose to see the wish. I choose to see the hope fade off into the sky.

I can relate to dandelion’s ; everyone sees this very happy, bright, smart, adventurous, successful and beautiful woman….they don’t see the Mikki that is up at three in the morning after a sever drop of depression, just got over her second panic attack but cannot control the triggers and reaches out for her razor. This time she rips it apart and takes what she needs to end this nightmare.

Self Harm is also like a dandelion ; people see it as stupid, selfish, looking for attention and many other stigmas…what they don’t see is the pain and the desperation for it to end. Its not the need for the attention but the need to stay alive. I don’t like seeing the blood, I like seeing that I am real..that I am still somehow human. I don’t want to kill myself, I just want to remember what it feels like to feel alive and real again.

I began my self harm around 18 and with projects like The Semicolon Tattoo Project I am able to heal in a way that I can relate to. Through tattoos I find a very therapeutic healing process in sharing my story. Its very empowering.

I chose the word continue because this reminds me to keep seeing the wish in everyday. To keep continuing on even through the darkest of days. To continue to be myself. To continue to breathe. To continue to find and build happiness. To continue to speak out. To continue to change and grow. To continue to choose love

You will see its spelt cont ; nue
I replaced the i with a ; for this to be in my piece around my struggles with self harm and depression.

So this is a bit of me. One more story to this book of my heart.

#recovery #hope #depression #anxiety #selfharm#suicide #suicidialideation #semicolon #love#together

— at Black Spade Studios.

nature

Done in Scotland.

“Sometimes we need to let nature tell the story” — atStudio XIII Gallery.

LOVE.jpg

Done in a backyard…I kid you not.

This was inspired by the Love is Love movement and ideology. This heart on my ring finger stands for a couple of things. You will see in the right hand corner there is an equal sign as well. All encompassing of the following :

I am Demi/Pansexual – Poly & Monogamous – BDSM [All of which of been deemed wrong and awful by society, these three have been some of the most beautiful journeys of my life]. I know who I am. I know what I need and want in my partner or partners.

This heart is for all oppressed love such as interracial, international, same sex, trans, by culture, race or religion.

This heart is my message in support and solidarity for love. Including the type of love society tried to deny me of for too long.

BEYOURSELF.jpg

Tattoo : Be yourself, everyone else is taken

Reason : I am the happiest that this will always be a part of me now. This quote has been my character for the past 3-4 years now. I define myself with this and the meaning.

This will always remind me to stay true to my heart, to be brave enough to do what makes me the happiest and to have my kind of fun.

This also has a deeper meaning and that is to not let society or a magazine tell me what beautiful is. I have struggled a lot with body image and what it means to be beuatiful. Today I am proud to know that I have learned to stay true to my body and to NEVER change myself to be like another. I wear the make up I want, dress the way I desire, work out how I feel necessary.

I will never surrender to giving up on myself to be something i’m not.

SMILES.jpgSMILES2.jpg

Smile Face Tattoo’s 🙂

Tilt your head to the side and you will get a entire different view.
The sun seems to shine more this way.
Maybe thats because its a new way of looking at things.

 

ARROW.jpg

This is a tattoo I got to remember someone very important to me. He passed away recently and this is to keep him moving forward with me in life. Jakob Hill..I love you ❤
Black Spade Studios


tattoomom

The day after you give your victim statement with your mom right by your side….

We got tattoos to celebrate in Calgary. My mom got her first tattoo. She is so cool!!

This tattoo actually means everything to my heart. I couldn’t ask for a better person to get matching tattoos with. We settled on the same one and choose our respective spots. After we were finished we held hands…and well that was just a beautiful surprise for the perfect ending.

My mother reminds me everyday that no matter what we are going to be holding hands at the end of both our journeys. We are in this life together for better or worst.

I am married to her heart and I am honoured to fight everyday against the world with her.

This is a woman that rushed home two weeks ago when I had a serious scare with suicide and instead of the attempt I called my mom. She came home to me in my room…alone with blood and razors everywhere. My mom simply cares with her entire heart. She cleaned that entire mess up…took care of me and just sat with me.

This is the woman that helped me move three whole times in one week and went through me being in a ridiculous landlord situation.

She sat with me when I got caught stealing.

She was there on the computer for three months waiting for the day I could commit to leaving my abusive relationship..she waited and that night she drove through a storm to come get me.

I will never walk away from you…never 

You may have made your mistakes and decisions that you are not proud of. Living with such a grudge and disappointment will never move our love forward.

We have had to endure so much pain to be where we are and I couldn’t be more proud.

So this is to a year of love, recovery, health, wellness, friendship, motherhood and change.

We will be writing a book this year and I can’t wait to begin the first page with you 

 — with mikki deckerand Kathy O’Neil in Calgary, Alberta.

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